"Kinder Surprise" Ad

I was getting ready to go to bed & I checked an email my friend Dan sent me. He sent me a link to this video that is just weird. It's probably going to make me have some wacked-out dream tonight.

I'm not sure if this is funny, disturbing, retarded, awesome, or all the above.

Mark Twain: The Mysterious Stranger

"Life itself is only a vision, a dream."

Looking at a video my friend sent me, I saw a link to this claymation style video labeled as "creepy kids cartoon".

Reading the comments, I saw that it was based on a Mark Twain story, "The Mysterious Stranger".

I found a longer version of the video with better sound quality:



The segment is from the kids movie "The Adventures of Mark Twain".

The dark, existential ending reminded me of Radiohead's House of Cards video that I just posted about.

"It is all a dream -
a grotesque and foolish dream.
Nothing exists but you.
And you are but a thought -
a vagrant thought,
a useless thought,
a homeless thought,
wandering forlorn
among the empty eternities!"

McCain Tech

Seen on Ebaum's World:

NPR:
"McCain's Technology Outlook"

Radiohead: House of Cards

Radiohead has a very unique sound & always pushes the boundaries of creativity. Artists often can pioneer in new techniques outside their realm of expertise, & Radiohead is well-known for exploring new artistic territory.

For their video, "House of Cards", all the imagery was created by capturing laser scans of people and landscapes. This information was stored as data and used to construct 3D video out of bits of data. Besides being a haunting song, the video makes it even more interesting.

"I don’t want to be your friend
I just want to be your lover
No matter how it ends
No matter how it starts"

When I look at the group of data points that appears to be Thom Yorke's face, it's strange how so much of what we consider our identity is information and numbers floating around. This is more true every day in the Digital Age, where people are known by their avatars and other abstractions.

This song and the video also illustrate the transient nature of all reality. Like all things we experience, the forms we see as 'faces' and 'places' have no permanent nature, and exist only in our own mind. We are taking a bunch of dots and perceiving images based on previous patterns that we associate with. The question is, what is the glue that is binding these countless dots into a coherent mental image?


The best part of this multimedia experiment is the interactive visualizer on the Google Labs website. You can take a clip from the video and manipulate the data/image in 3D space. They even supply the code for people to create their own video visualizations.

RA DIOHEA_D / HOU SE OF_C ARDS

Monkeys in Human Fashions

I saw these monkeys capturing human styles originally on trendhunter.com.
They originate from a studio in the Ukraine called Atelier, which might mean "Workshop".

Clothing is mostly used to display our personality, in both obvious & subtle ways.

As a consequence, seeing fashion styles on monkeys gives them "personas" that we project onto them, using people we've experienced wearing the same things as a reference.

Most of all, I just think monkeys in people clothes are hilarious!

The funniest picture is the Rasta monkey.
The most disturbing one, though, is the neo-Nazi skinhead ape.

"The Workshop
Making a Monkey Out of Fashion"

Paris for Prez

I've never really been a fan of Paris Hilton. However, the last couple stunts she's pulled have been really amusing to me.

The idea of having actor Maxie Santillan act as her "spiritual guru" in front of the paparazzi was a great goof. I always wonder why celebrities don't do more stuff like that.


Anyway, John McCain made his "Barack is a Celebrity" campaign ad w/ Paris & Britney Spears in it. Kathy Hilton basically responded by stating the obvious - that the ad is stupid (even for a political ad) & it's a waste of time and money. However, her mom defending her daughter in this way wasn't really surprising.

I was watching CNN a couple nights ago and saw the video response that Paris filmed. I was feeling to lazy to post about it then. The video gave me a good laugh & like everything else Paris does, it was at the top of the news the next day. It's kind of surreal to watch Paris Hilton call both Candidates for the President of the United States "bitches", but we are living in a time of warped realities. I love every minute of it.

The creator of the "rebuttal" video put it well,
"McCain made one huge mistake: He drifted into the world of pop culture. And that's Paris' world. She owns that world."

The funniest thing is that McSame was shown up by the most vapid of the celebrities that he was trying to trivialize. If John McCain can be outfoxed by Paris Hilton, how are we supposed to expect him to successfully engage hostile leaders & terrorist masterminds?!?

Finally, for what it's worth (nothing), I can say I would 1,000% rather have even Paris Hilton running the country than Dick Cheney & his monkey boy.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Introducing the "iThink"

I love Apple computers.

Besides providing modern necessities such as internet & email, the computer is pretty much my sole source of creative output. I started using Macs in my college design classes & was glad to be rid of Windows from my life after growing up with DOS & Windows 3.0.

As a senior, one of my semester projects was to design a computer of the future & relevant promo materials. Mine was basically a powerful handheld device with a wireless keyboard and an eye piece for a screen.

Since then, there's been alot of talk about what will happen when the creeping advance of digital technology begins to directly permeate our consciousness. We already have bionic body parts, brain implants, mind-interaction software, primitive AI, and all kinds of other that are signs of the continuing fusion between man and machine.

This also got me thinking about the inevitable augmentation of human experience through computers that will link directly to our conscious thoughts. This web is already being interwoven, so to speak, and there is speculation that some sort of super-consciousness could result. This idea has been given labels such as the Hive Mind, The Singularity, The End of Novelty, etc.

My Dad always jokes that one day, people are just going to be white blobs hooked up to all kinds of computers & electronics. I'd been thinking about the possibility of microchips being implanted that were essentially computers connecting to our brains. I wondered how my favorite brand, Apple, would exist in such circumstances.

That's when I thought up the "iThink":

"The most revolutionary computer in history,
iThink allows you to interact with
unlimited information, virtual imagery & sound,
and even immersive environments,
all within your mind!"

click for larger image (1900x1200)

It's taken me awhile to actually finish these graphics due to procrastination & the interference of life in general. I've been running it around in my head for awhile, though. Anyway, this was just a fun project for me. This all might seem incredibly geeky, but I think it's a pretty intriguing concept that illustrates real possibilities.

We have to ask ourselves what a human being's mental experience will be like when we get to this point. Will we be able to close our eyes and create an environment like a holodeck inside our own headspace? How will we control the data streams and imagery that will be flooding our perceptions? Will any outside source be able to hack into our brains? Will there be different classes of people according to whether they are 'natural' or 'cyber'?

There are millions of questions that only time will answer. For now, we can only imagine how a product like the "iThink" would affect mankind.

In addition to the poster above, I also created a spec sheet to resemble those used for Apple's existing products. Scroll down for text of the tech details...

click for larger image (1900x1200)

iThink Technical Specifications

• Size:
1.5 x 1.5 x .5 inches

• Symbiosis™ Neural Interface:
Direct brain-computer link means your mind and computer are one!

• Intel Fusion™ Quantum Processing:
Uses the power of the atom to instantly compute at the speed of thought.

• Holographic Data Storage:
The iThink’s tiny internal holochip has a staggering individual capacity of over 666 Yottabytes (1000^8), for seemingly infinite augmented memory

• Intra-neural Communication:
Mentally allow or block any kind of signal you want to send or recieve instantly over the wireless iThink global network

• Perceptual Immersion:
Images, sound, & other data are projected virtually into your sensory fields by directly connecting into your brain’s activity

• Integrated GPS and Google Earth:
Receive directions and location information anywhere on the planet, and the ability to be located in case of an emergency

Monkey Classic Rock

...and now back to our regularly scheduled madness.

I saw this nutty video on Choose Your Overlord, a cool blog I bookmarked awhile back that concerns 2 of my favorite subjects: monkeys & robots.

The video is from an old show called Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp that would probably be shut down by animal rights activists if it were on the air today.

What could be funnier than a band of hippie chimps called "Evolution Revolution"?



Since I'm on the subject of rockin' chimps, I'll mention this monkey game I saw called Rock N' Roll Space Monkey. The game itself kind of sucks, but the idea is funny.

Larsen Lake Ice House

My previous post about "The Legend of Larsen Lake" was a little lengthy, so I decided to create a separate post about the mystery of the abandoned Ice House on the lake.

All we knew about the old building was that it was used to store ice harvested from the frozen lake. Huge ice blocks were stored all year to load onto trains that passed on the nearby tracks. This ice was then transported up & down the East Coast states for various uses in the days before mechanical refrigeration.

The only other thing I found out about the building is that it is haunted by local cursed souls that are trapped inside, including The Kid in the Red Shirt.

I tried to search the words that were inscribed on the marble block inlaid in the brick wall:

S.G.& W. Co.
1895
W.W. Scranton Prest.

The only reference I found was here:
Erie: Haines Junction

I have some of the photos I took of this neat spot below the links.

Pocono Record:
"Old-fashioned Ice Harvest
set for 15th Year in Tobyhanna"

Columbia Magazine:
"The Heyday of Ice 'Farming'
in the Inland Northwest"

rootsweb.ancestry.com:
"Vicksburg Ice Harvest Gallery"

Poconos 2008: The Legend of Larsen Lake

I got back from the Poconos last weekend & meant to write something about this.

My family has been going to the Poconos on and off since me & my siblings were young. We usually take a week in the summer to get a place by a lake. The last few years we've tried different places, but this year my Dad picked out a killer house by Big Bass Lake in the Poconos. Even though most of us are moved out, my family sees each other often. Last week, though, 8 of us stayed together & had a great time: me, my parents, my brothers, one of their girlfriends, my sister, and her husband.


We had a rowboat and a canoe, so most of the time someone was out on the lake, fishing or otherwise. The fishing started out really good, with almost everyone catching smaller bass the first couple days.

My brother-in-law went with me in the canoe to explore a spooky old ice house that was by railroad tracks along the lake. I took a bunch of pictures of it & we walked toward the railroad tracks nearby. We looked to our left and, to our surprise, saw a young kid in a red shirt squatting over the tracks doing something with a knife. Not wanting to startle him & also creeped out by this kid in the middle of nowhere, we backed away toward the ice house.

Later on, one of my brothers was in the canoe by himself. He snuck up & scared the same boy in a red shirt that we saw. The kid was catching minnows by an old iron rail bridge we called "The Tressle Tracks". My family is a bunch of creative, & funny people, so we often embellish reality for the sake of our own amusement. Here is where the entire week became a chance to create a crazy story.

After scaring the the boy, whom we named "The Kid in the Red Shirt", my brother was talking to him about fishing spots & stuff. He gave my brother a red Yamamoto worm lure. Although my bro-in-law & I both saw Justin from our rowboat in middle of the lake, we joked that we didn't see the kid that he was talking to - so he must have been a ghost!

After a few days of fishing & getting absolutely no more bites or anything, we had come up with a story. The Kid in the Red Shirt was obviously a evil ghost from the abandoned Ice House. He had given my brother a cursed lure that was spoiling everyone's fishing!

By Thursday, I told my brother that there was only one thing we could do. We had to take the evil lure to the Ice House and burn it to destroy the curse. He agreed, so we went out in the canoe to meet my dad, sister, & her husband in the rowboat to get the Cursed Lure from the tacklebox.

For some reason, my Dad tossed the worm & it hit the side of our canoe. We could only watch in horror as it immediately sank into the seaweed. Seeing the look of distress on our faces, my Dad told us he'd by a new pack. Only half-joking, I exclaimed "Dad, don't you understand anything?!? How are we going to get rid of the curse?" My brother actually almost considered jumping in the muck to try to retrieve it.

So we paddled away in the canoe, slightly bewildered. To make matters worse, sirens in the town suddenly starting blaring over the lake. We thought my Dad might have inadvertently ushered in the Lake Apocalypse.

That night however, my father proved that he was definitely not an agent of evil. The curse was broken, because I caught a decent size bass that same night & the next day Dad caught a little bit bigger one.
We cooked the fish up and they were delicious. Of course, I thanked the fish's spirit for nourishing my family. I mean, it's not like I'm some kind of barbarian or something! : D

I looked thrilled, as usual.

As long as Big Paul's happy,
everyone's happy

We Are The Web & Net Neutrality

I saw this wacky picture of 3 internet celebrities: Tron Guy, Leslie Hall, & Peter Pan.

The picture is for a website wearetheweb.org that advocates for Net Neutrality. I would highly recommend clicking on "Celebrities" & watching the Tron Guy.

It's weird how the internet & other mass media is giving rise to so many 'personalities' that become fairly well-known. Andy Warhol's quote "In the future, everyone will be famous for five minutes" looks more & more visionary since the rise of the web.

South Park had a typically awesome episode with a bunch of internet celebrities fighting each other. Speaking of which, the director's cut of the classic Imagination Land episode will be on Sunday.

Jedi Gym

My old roomie Andy sent me this video on Myspace while I was on vacation. They could have shaved the last minute off, but up to that point it's great. Star Wars is one of those things that'll always be an inspiration for parody.

Crazy Wisdom of Terence McKenna

I first heard about Terence McKenna while I was in college. My friend Phil had his spoken word CD called "Alien Dreamtime" w/ music & sound design by Spacetime Continuum. Despite already having an imaginative mind, listening to this visionary crazy wisdom master burst my head open into a space that was infinitely more vast than the previous infinity I thought existed. It was simply the craziest thing I ever heard, which is saying quite alot.

Terence McKenna passed away in 2000 & didn't get to experience the novel horrors that have resulted from 8 years of George W. Bush being the most powerful figurehead in the world. He was definitely a one-of-a-kind character who combined science, metaphysics, humor, and culture through language that was as colorful and wacky as it was cerebral.

Anyway, this particular visual effects-enhanced lecture came to my attention through Posthuman Blues.

It took me a few sittings, but I've listened to the whole video & watched most of it. I wanted to make it through the entire thing before posting about it. This video is definitely not geared to unimaginative or the cultural conformist. Watching this in one viewing will most likely either make your brain melt or explode into individual atoms.

Terence McKenna:
"Psychedelics in the
Age of Intelligent Machines"

Echo Park Time Travel Mart

It's always impressive when people put alot of effort & thought into being creative for the sake of humor.

Someone put together a fictional (?) store called the Echo Park Time Travel Mart.

As a collection of design, it is really amusing in a heady way. I would have a blast coming up for products in a wacky scenario like this.

Daily Monster:
INTRODUCING
THE ECHO PARK TIME TRAVEL MART

Some of my favorite "products" are meant to help time-traveling customers defeat advanced and malevolent robots. To defeat the inevitable swarm of future military machines, mankind needs to stock up on these essential commodities:

Photo Gallery
ECHO PARK TIME TRAVEL MART

Amaruca: Land of the Plumed Serpent

I don't have time to really comment on this, but this is an interesting take on the pre-conquest origins of "America".

Bridging the Americas
Reuniting the Eagle and the Condor

It's an angle I've heard before & read about in "The Return of the Serpents of Wisdom", a crazy & fascinating book.

Special Announcement

People who know me probably think that, in this election season, I would prefer Barack Obama.

This would be a fair assumption based on my disagreement with the Republican Party's perpetual willingness to be brokers for the oil interests, multinationals, and war profiteers that can be called 'Bush, Inc.', or just 'Evil'. John McCain is simply a component of that dreadful machine.

However, the 'Demon-crats' despite their more pragmatic concerns, have barely stood up to the mafia that's running the executive branch. Obama has shown more intelligence, leadership, and willingness to battle than most of his fellow "left-wing" party. Lately, though, his supporters and critics have been noticing some political compromises that might not make him the progressive messiah that exists in the minds of many.

Many people are fed up with the 2-party system and its negative effects on our government. That is why I waited until the historic day of July 4th to reveal a special announcement. I'll let this news report speak for itself and myself.

Now, it's time to go prepare for this huge responsibility -
with beer, grilled meat, and horseshoes!

How to Nap

If there is one activity that I definitely do not need instructions for, it's how to take a nap.

This cool chart I saw from Boston.com is an tip sheet for a pastime that is automatic for humans.
Sometimes, though, learning about what is the most familiar to us can be the most amazing, also. Thinking about ordinary things in new ways is definitely key to keeping an interesting existence.

Hopefully I find time to practice the tips on this chart between the inevitable shenanigans of my 3 day Independence Weekend. Thank you America, the greatest abstract concept in the whole damn world!

click

Hanuman Images

When I was writing my last post, I found alot of cool images of the Hindu deity Hanuman - depicted as a half-man, half-monkey.

There are some cool wallpapers on an Indian website called SantaBanta.com.

Spiritual Wallpapers

The one below is awesome. From what I can tell, the scene is of this story from Hindu scripture. You have a flying monkey-god carrying a mountain over an army of apes surrounding Rama & Sita. As imagery goes, it is wonderfully crazy:


Equally wonderful is another image of Hanuman in my favorite color - Green, the color of life and prosperity. Hanuman seems to excel at moving mountains:


I also found a website with a bunch of links to Hanuman pictures, like this flowery (almost trippy) image:


Ok, and I just saw this video clip from a live action Bollywood film featuring Hanuman. It really 'takes off' around the 2-minute mark. It is from a film called Bajrangbali & the movie trailer is even better.

Hanuman Idol for Obama

It looks like Barack Obama is going to receive a 'Monkey Buddha' of his very own.

Browsing Disinfo.com, I saw that some devotees of the Hindu monkey god Hanuman claim they saw a Time magazine article in which Obama talks about carrying a "monkey king charm" for good luck. I couldn't find this article in a quick Google search. Regardless, a group of Indian well-wishers are giving Sen. Obama a brass Hanuman statue to bless his campaign.

"India Monkey God Idol for Obama"

You can never go wrong with some extra Monkey Buddha power.


It's kind of interesting how the context of the image of the monkey can be regarded as racist (or not) in this country. If Barack is associated with a monkey sock puppet, it is (rightly) considered at least a little offensive. Presenting him with an ancient image of a Hindu monkey deity, though, is culturally acceptable.

Even worse than the sock puppet was the lazy & legally risky combination of a unaltered picture of Curious George with Obama's name. Fortunately, if you're an uncreative racist dope, you're probably not smart enough to avoid being sued out of business.

Funny Captions on Stock Art

I saw this collection of mostly vintage-looking graphics w/ witty captions & thought it was pretty funny. It's not really "haha" funny but I find them amusing.

Married to the Sea

I liked this one - a good take on how much designers rely on computer technology nowadays:




The idea of adding funniness to generic graphic art is also the basis for the site of funny e-cards called Someecards.com. I've sent & received some of the gems on this site.

Combining these simple elements in the right way has a surprisingly comedic effect.

Summer Sun

My favorite time of year has officially begun. Woo-hoo!


This was the first weekend of the summer & the inevitable hijinks have already started.

Anyway, many people know that Friday was the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year. Like other astronomical and seasonal events, this point in the solar cycle has been recognized & celebrated since the beginning of civilization.

National Geographic:
"Summer Solstice Facts,
for when 'the Sun Stands Still'"

The sun was one of the first physical entities to be perceived as a deity, for obvious reasons. It is the Earth's source of heat, visible light, cyclical time, and of most life.

I've always felt a sense of amazement in the relatively immense power of the sun. As a student at Rowan University back at the turn of the 21st century, I picked our closest star as subject for a fun project in my intro design class:


My only tattoo is a graphic I made of the sun with the Chinese pictogram for being alive. To me, it's a mandala more than a decoration. When I got it in college, I wanted it to be a symbolic reminder of how important each day is that I get to experience life, including all the joy and sorrow it brings.


Besides being a student of sun symbolism, I also simply enjoy basking in the summer sun - doing absolutely nothing and thinking about absolutely nothing. When I close my eyes, I feel the pulsing radiant energy that originated in the depth of a stellar inferno millions of miles away. It is an invigorating feeling that is further enhanced by an ice cold Corona w/ a lime.

The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

"Of all mindfulness meditations,
that on death is supreme."

I usually read on my lunch break. Right now, I've started my my 3rd read-through of The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, a book that I consider essential knowledge.

I have a deep appreciation for Buddhist philosophy, but this book really goes beyond the boundaries of religion. It deeply addresses both experiencing life to the fullest and dealing with the inevitability of death. Sogyal Rinpoche writes in a way that is wise and fascinating at the same time.

Rigpa.org
Sogyal Rinpoche's Website w/ Excerpts

It is basically a explanation of the Buddhist teachings behind the Bardo Thodol, often called the "Tibetan Book of the Dead". The actual translation is "Liberation through Hearing in the Intermediate State," but that doesn't sound nearly as creepy.

This is not some kind of death-worshipping "goth" religion or something. Much of the material is very matter-of-fact, practical, and positive. It's 400 pages that I consider myself fortunate to be able to read and try to fully appreciate.

A New Frontier:
Magazine interview with Lama Sogyal Rinpoche

"Misleading" Ads from Video Game History

This is a great collection of classic video game advertising.

However I don't agree with the idea that they're 'misleading'. Most of the ads show a screenshot, so you know at least what the game really looks like like.

Besides when I create commercial art, conveying a story or idea is often more important than strictly representing physical reality.

"Misleading Ads from
the Golden Age of Video Games"


"Become a Jedi Master
without ever leaving your home"...


...by moving digitized lines back and forth

Cool As Ice

Where do I start with this?

Let me say that Vanilla Ice's movie Cool As Ice has been one of my very favorite 'bad' movies for a very long time. I put quotes around 'bad' because this movie is so unbelievably absurd that it goes far beyond good or bad. Don't believe me?





My very first job on a payroll was working at a Movies Unlimited video rental store as a teenager. I worked with some crazy characters. We used to play movies on the TVs in the store all day & chill at the counter watching them if there were no customers.

We played a eclectic variety, but there was one wacky movie we all watched over & over. This was also the only movie that people asked about EVERY single time we played it. I wish I were lying, but the only thing I can guess is that the customers were mesmerized by Ice's neon orange outfits and killer dance moves.

This classic piece of cinema is of course:

"Cool As Ice"

My parents are replacing a cabinet w/ video tapes at their house & I saw this tape sitting out. (This was one of the tapes I secured when the movie store went out of business.) I was watching it with my brother & he vowed never to watch it again.

I cannot recommend this movie enough nor describe how hysterically horrible it is.
There are some tidbits on Youtube, but these are just morsels from a feast of pure ridiculousness.

Aztec Discovery

The Aztecs

There is a increasing rate of archaeological discoveries being made every day. I love reading about new finds - Archaeologica is a great resource for archaeological news.

Humans are scouring the planet to discover the mysteries of a past that is largely forgotten. Some historical sites are well known & still occupied, like Mexico City. During the reign of the Aztecs, this area was the capital city called Tenochtitlan and was actually an island in the middle of a lake.

The Spanish invaders marveled at the city that seemed "like an enchanted vision." Of course, the Aztec city was destroyed as result of the the conquistadors' legendary greed, ignorance, and ideological fervor.

Like all conquering groups, the Spanish destroyed the Aztec temples and centers of spiritual power in order to subjugate the population. These places of power were still used, though, as the Catholic invaders established cathedrals and political buildings on the same spots.

Anyway, an area that is believed to be the palace of the last Aztec emperor, Montezuma, has been discovered beneath the Museum of Culture in Mexico City.

" Mexican Archaeologists Unearth
Ruins of Aztec Palace"

The article says they think they've found a windowless black room. This was where Montezuma sat in darkness, took psychedelic substances, and communed with the ancestors & spirits in visions. Obviously, his spirit guides didn't help him prevent the destruction of his empire.

"History of the Aztecs"

Speaking of Aztec spirituality, it was very sophisticated yet completely alien to the Western modes of thought. Their concept of the ultimate nature of reality was similar to the idea of The Tao or even "The Force". At the highest level, they understood their pantheon of unique gods to be personality attributes used to describe aspects of infinite reality, or Teotl.

"Aztec Philosophy"

"I command you to surrender to Cortez
& give him large sums of gold!
Trust me!!!
Would you're Spirit Vision lie to you???"

Why I'm Voting Republican

Yes, this is shocking news to anyone who knows me or has read this blog.

Although I'm registered as an Independent, my entire adult life has been spent feeling nothing but contempt for George W. Bush, his Republican Party, and the ideological neo-con version of conservative politics.

This one thought-provoking video has really opened my eyes, though.

Here's "Why I'm Voting Republican":

Proof of The End Times?

I saw this interesting segment on Raw Story.

It is an interview with one of my heroes, Dennis Kucinich. He's being interviewed by one of my least favorite people in the media - the reactionary & overly pompous Bill O'Reilly.

After watching this clip where O'Reilly actually agrees with & praises Rep. Kucinich on certain points, I had to feel around to make sure my head hadn't exploded.

This could also be definitive evidence that we're living in the Bizarro Universe...

"Bill O'Reilly & Dennis Kucinich - together at last"

What, what?!?!

Raw Story:
"O'Reilly, Kucinich
Spar Over Impeachment, Unite Over Gas Prices"